1
00:00:02,935 --> 00:00:07,171
[♪]
2
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Steve and marcie throw
a nice party, don't they?
3
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Well, it would have been nicer
if we were actually invited.
4
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You know, peg,
5
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I didn't like
those people very much,
6
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A bunch
of boring bankers.
7
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They just kept
staring at me.
8
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Well, you did overflow
the toilet
9
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And not tell anyone.
10
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Well, I don't tell anyone
when I do it here,
11
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But you gotta give me credit.
12
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I did try to liven things up.
13
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Well, you know, I don't think
a bankers' party
14
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Is the right place to stand
on the buffet and yell,
15
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"hey, let's wet down
the wives' t-shirts
16
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And rate their hooters!"
17
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You'd have won.
18
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Oh, al.
19
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Eh, but for once,
I gotta agree with steve.
20
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This is the last party
21
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I'm ever going to
at their house.
22
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At least we get to
take home the leftovers.
23
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Excuse me, al,
but the party just started.
24
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I'll need the food back.
25
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Oh, sure, marce.
26
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[sneezes]
27
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Oh, well...
28
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That's okay.
29
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I suppose you need it
more than I do.
30
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[sneezes]
31
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I'll just find
some gingersnaps.
32
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Well, dad,
33
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We got the gas
like you told us to.
34
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Don't worry.
35
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I don't think
anyone at the party saw us.
36
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They were too busy
watching buck mount
37
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Mrs. Vandergelder's
fur coat.
38
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Can you believe
that all this
39
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Came from
one rolls-royce?
40
00:02:55,274 --> 00:02:57,909
Oh, hi, mrs. Rhoades.
41
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Guess what.
42
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One of your guests' cars
sprung a leak,
43
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And young bud and I
44
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Thought that it was
a fire hazard.
45
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So luckily,
46
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We happened along
with these gas cans
47
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And once again
saved the day.
48
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Damn vandals.
49
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,826
I think they keyed
the cars too.
50
00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:28,673
Mom, why can buck have
the coat upstairs,
51
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And I can't have
boys in my room?
52
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Because that coat
can't get pregnant.
53
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Obviously,
neither can kelly.
54
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That was my boss's rolls.
55
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Give me that gas,
you little pirates!
56
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Peggy, please,
57
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Talk to them!
58
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Kids, you know the speech.
59
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You did a bad thing.
60
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Don't do it anymore.
61
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Okay? Fine.
62
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Kel, this is it,
63
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The last time
I'm working for dad.
64
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From now on, I go solo.
65
00:04:03,275 --> 00:04:05,276
Much like
at lovers' lane?
66
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:10,148
You know, our kids
are growing up so fast.
67
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,783
It seems like only yesterday
they were only stealing from us.
68
00:04:14,519 --> 00:04:18,122
Al, your dog went on my carpet.
69
00:04:18,123 --> 00:04:19,657
Well, in a manner
of speaking,
70
00:04:19,658 --> 00:04:21,192
So did al.
71
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:23,895
Well, you know,
72
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,263
Since we're all
throwing stones here,
73
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We were really hurt
not to be invited.
74
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It was just
an oversight.
75
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,769
No hard feelings,
I hope.
76
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,137
Let's go, marcie.
77
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:35,573
I want to get my fortune read
by the psychic we hired.
78
00:04:35,574 --> 00:04:38,509
I hope
I'm not intruding.
79
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:39,844
She is incredible.
80
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Did you sense
our presence here?
81
00:04:41,646 --> 00:04:43,281
No, I sensed you were
leaving the party
82
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,483
Without paying me.
83
00:04:45,484 --> 00:04:47,118
Oh, no, madame olga,
of course not,
84
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,552
But as long as you're here,
85
00:04:48,553 --> 00:04:50,554
I haven't had a chance
to get my fortune read.
86
00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:51,555
Steve, please,
87
00:04:51,556 --> 00:04:52,957
I really think
we should do this
88
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Back at our house.
89
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,026
No.
90
00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,961
Please...
91
00:04:56,962 --> 00:04:59,230
Sit down.
92
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:03,134
I feel
very strong vibrations here.
93
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,568
Did you leave
your toy running
94
00:05:04,569 --> 00:05:06,104
Under the couch again?
95
00:05:12,744 --> 00:05:13,744
No.
96
00:05:13,745 --> 00:05:15,313
It's in the shop.
97
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,847
It's being
turbo-charged.
98
00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:25,756
Ah, I see a death.
99
00:05:25,757 --> 00:05:27,191
Oh, no.
100
00:05:27,192 --> 00:05:29,660
But it will bring you
your life's wish.
101
00:05:29,661 --> 00:05:30,761
All right!
102
00:05:30,762 --> 00:05:32,696
Honey, you have to do this.
103
00:05:32,697 --> 00:05:34,832
Uh, no, I don't, steve.
104
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,000
With all due respect,
105
00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:38,202
I don't really believe
in superstition.
106
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:40,271
It's a refuge for small minds.
107
00:05:40,272 --> 00:05:41,973
I'll go! I'll go!
108
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,342
Do you a sense
a death for me
109
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,311
That will bring me
my life's wish?
110
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,713
Let me see.
111
00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,882
Ah!
112
00:05:51,883 --> 00:05:56,254
An unexpected windfall
will come your way.
113
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,223
No death?
114
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:01,125
Leave me.
115
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:02,961
Alrighty.
116
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:03,962
Go next, al.
117
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,430
This is fun.
118
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Feet.
119
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Is that
in the cards?
120
00:06:20,712 --> 00:06:22,447
No, I smell your feet.
121
00:06:25,851 --> 00:06:28,453
Well, I smell cheap scotch
on your breath. Just...
122
00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:32,423
Read me my fortune.
123
00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:34,592
What else
do you sense?
124
00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:35,994
Unfortunately,
125
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,296
I see good fortune
for you,
126
00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:40,465
Something linked
to the color green.
127
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,899
Huh?
128
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,701
What do I have that's green?
129
00:06:43,702 --> 00:06:45,536
Your teeth?
130
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:50,375
Can't I have a death
like steve?
131
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:51,976
No, that's all I see.
132
00:06:51,977 --> 00:06:52,977
Come on, marcie.
133
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Your turn.
134
00:06:53,979 --> 00:06:55,413
No. I really shouldn't.
135
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,982
Oh, go on, marcie.
It's fun.
136
00:06:57,983 --> 00:07:00,385
Good things are
happening for everyone.
137
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,320
Okay.
138
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,222
But I don't know
what good it will do.
139
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:06,991
I've already met
my tall, dark stranger.
140
00:07:10,662 --> 00:07:12,096
What do you
see for me?
141
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:19,237
I see nothing,
mrs. Rhoades.
142
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,638
Hey, who's the guy
on the card
143
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:21,506
With the noose?
144
00:07:24,643 --> 00:07:26,911
No one, really.
145
00:07:26,912 --> 00:07:28,546
Could you pay me now?
146
00:07:28,547 --> 00:07:30,448
What? What is it?
147
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:31,682
I have to know.
148
00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:33,351
It's good, isn't it?
149
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:34,785
Everyone else's is good.
150
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:38,022
Well, you could
interpret it as good.
151
00:07:38,023 --> 00:07:41,192
Misfortune, betrayal,
disaster, tragedy,
152
00:07:41,193 --> 00:07:44,295
But those words
could mean anything.
153
00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:45,463
Oh.
154
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:48,566
Well, like I said,
155
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,535
I don't really believe
in this stuff.
156
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:51,969
Thanks, steve.
157
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,271
This is fun.
158
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:56,674
I'm going to die.
159
00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:58,543
But you three
will have good luck.
160
00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,544
You know, it's funny.
161
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,045
I wanted to hire a caricaturist,
162
00:08:01,046 --> 00:08:04,048
But steve thought
that might upset people.
163
00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:05,316
You were so right.
164
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:06,484
This is much better.
165
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,219
Let's party.
166
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,020
Oh, honey, come on.
167
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,623
She's a con artist, a fake,
a charlatan.
168
00:08:12,624 --> 00:08:14,692
So good things are going to
happen for me, right?
169
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:16,627
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
170
00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:19,663
[doorbell rings]
171
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:22,633
Hi, marce.
172
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:23,634
Hi, peggy.
173
00:08:23,635 --> 00:08:26,237
Look,
I'm still alive.
174
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,206
I told you
that fortune teller didn't know
175
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:29,640
What she was talking about.
176
00:08:29,641 --> 00:08:31,875
I've already forgotten
what she said to me.
177
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:35,779
You know, "misfortune,
betrayal, disaster, tragedy."
178
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:36,914
Anything good happen to you?
179
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:40,251
Hey!
180
00:08:40,252 --> 00:08:41,919
Thank god.
181
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,254
[doorbell rings]
182
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:46,657
See, you can't take
these fortune tellers seriously.
183
00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:48,092
They just make up stuff.
184
00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:50,094
Mrs. Bundy?
Yes.
185
00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:53,297
I found your husband's wallet
in the parking lot at the mall.
186
00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:55,633
Oh, it's all there, ma'am,
I didn't take anything.
187
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:59,069
Oh, you know,
he will be so happy to hear
188
00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,738
That there are
still some honest people
189
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:01,639
Left in the world.
190
00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:05,676
Thank you.
191
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:08,479
Excuse me,
192
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,981
But I came all the way
over here on my own time.
193
00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:13,151
Oh.
194
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,619
I'm sorry.
195
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:20,224
Ah!
196
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:21,859
Can you believe it, marcie?
197
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:24,629
A windfall,
just like the gypsy said.
198
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,930
I'm so happy for you.
199
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,633
Oh, don't be ridiculous, marcie.
200
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,235
Nothing bad ever happens to you.
201
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:33,471
You're the luckiest person
I know.
202
00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:41,646
Uh, peggy, do you have a cat?
203
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:42,846
No. Why?
204
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:44,882
Oh, just wondering.
205
00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:46,984
Peg!
206
00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:48,486
Guess what happened?
207
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,621
You remember that fortune teller
said green?
208
00:09:50,622 --> 00:09:53,291
Well, I saw this horse,
gangrene,
209
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:54,725
Running in the third race today.
210
00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:57,795
He went off at 20 to 1,
and I won $200.
211
00:09:57,796 --> 00:10:00,431
That fortune teller really knew
what she was talking about.
212
00:10:00,432 --> 00:10:02,600
I'm going to die.
213
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,668
[doorbell rings]
214
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:07,004
Oh, marcie,
I'm sure she was wrong.
215
00:10:07,005 --> 00:10:09,473
Steve was the only one
she went into detail with,
216
00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:11,775
And nobody has died yet.
217
00:10:11,776 --> 00:10:14,679
Guess who
just kicked the bucket.
218
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,481
Only the man with the best
parking space at the bank.
219
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:20,218
Meet the new man with the best
parking space at the bank.
220
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,853
He always said I'd get
that space over his dead body.
221
00:10:22,854 --> 00:10:24,622
[cackles]
222
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,591
See you at the funeral, simpson!
223
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:29,860
Boy, that gypsy
sure knew
224
00:10:29,861 --> 00:10:30,861
What she was
talking about.
225
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:31,862
She sure did.
226
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:33,231
I won $200 on a horse.
227
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,298
Yeah, and I--
228
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:35,966
I got...
229
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:40,170
I got the best guy
in the whole world.
230
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,106
So we're all winners!
231
00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:48,379
Why is everyone looking at me?
232
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:51,782
Because you're up next.
233
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:53,284
Smooth, al.
234
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:56,787
Don't you think she knows
disaster is gonna happen to her?
235
00:10:56,788 --> 00:10:59,523
Yeah, maybe it's not even safe
to have her in our house.
236
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:02,393
Oh, no.
237
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,128
I'm not taking her
to my house.
238
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,967
I don't even want her
around my parking space.
239
00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:11,369
[men laugh]
240
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,472
Well, aren't we
the merry widower?
241
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:18,643
Oh, buck up,
cupcake.
242
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,077
Daddy has a piece
of good news
243
00:11:20,078 --> 00:11:21,078
He's been saving
244
00:11:21,079 --> 00:11:22,380
Until you were
at your lowest.
245
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:25,750
Well, just how low would you
like me to get, steve?
246
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,285
Shaking, vomiting.
247
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:30,721
Perhaps if an eye dropped out.
248
00:11:30,722 --> 00:11:32,189
Give me the news!
249
00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:34,458
Your boss,
mr. Vandergelder, called,
250
00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:36,327
And of all the employees
at your bank,
251
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:37,728
He wants you to accompany him
252
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,029
When he makes his keynote speech
253
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,665
At the women in banking
convention.
254
00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:44,201
Really? Me?
255
00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,937
I'm so honored.
256
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:47,971
Ha!
257
00:11:47,972 --> 00:11:50,374
I spit
in madame olga's eye.
258
00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:51,409
[spits]
259
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,711
Stupid gypsy.
260
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:58,248
I'm glad I stopped payment
on her check.
261
00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,249
Let her rot in hell,
262
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,251
Because I'm going to the top.
263
00:12:01,252 --> 00:12:02,320
Where and when, steve?
264
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,254
Tomorrow night, 7:30,
new york city.
265
00:12:04,255 --> 00:12:05,923
I love new york city.
266
00:12:05,924 --> 00:12:09,059
If I can make it there,
I can make it anywhere.
267
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,161
How am I going to make it there,
steve?
268
00:12:11,162 --> 00:12:13,163
On a plane,
you're flying.
269
00:12:13,164 --> 00:12:16,834
So that's how
you're gonna die.
270
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:23,741
I'm not going to new york,
steve.
271
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,742
Well, honey,
272
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,243
It's good
for your career.
273
00:12:26,244 --> 00:12:28,212
No, steve,
274
00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:30,214
Spiraling down to earth
in a fiery hell
275
00:12:30,215 --> 00:12:33,684
Is not really good
for my career.
276
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:36,053
I know what's going to happen.
277
00:12:36,054 --> 00:12:38,756
The plane will crash
in the ocean.
278
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,725
Then we'll all scamper
for lifeboats.
279
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,928
I'm little.
280
00:12:44,929 --> 00:12:46,630
The big girls
will push me aside,
281
00:12:46,631 --> 00:12:49,433
Like they did in school
during fire drills.
282
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:51,769
I remember those drills.
283
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,838
Orderly exit, my ass!
284
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,975
They trampled me
285
00:12:57,976 --> 00:13:01,211
Like peanut shells
on the floor of a cheap bar!
286
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:03,146
Uh, marcie,
287
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:04,348
You can't refuse
your boss.
288
00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:06,116
I hate my boss.
289
00:13:06,117 --> 00:13:09,520
Mr. Vanderdoody...
290
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:13,257
Of the daughters of the american
revolution vanderdoodys.
291
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:15,092
Oh, to hell with my career.
292
00:13:15,093 --> 00:13:17,961
Steve, let me talk
some sense into her.
293
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:24,435
Marcie, you're worried
over nothing.
294
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,804
There's no ocean
between here and new york.
295
00:13:28,339 --> 00:13:29,673
Worse thing
that could happen,
296
00:13:29,674 --> 00:13:31,475
You'd hit a mountain
and disintegrate.
297
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:35,546
Oh, honey, all that wisdom,
298
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:38,115
And yet we live
amongst the common people.
299
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:41,585
Marcie,
300
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:43,487
You're acting
like a baby.
301
00:13:43,488 --> 00:13:45,656
Millions of people
fly every day.
302
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:47,291
Be strong...
303
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:49,359
And buy insurance.
304
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,496
Insurance?
305
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:54,998
Yes. As a matter of fact,
306
00:13:54,999 --> 00:13:56,967
I'll take insurance with me.
307
00:13:56,968 --> 00:14:00,337
Uh, won't it burn in the wreck,
sweetie?
308
00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:03,874
I don't mean that kind
of insurance, vulture.
309
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:06,376
I'm taking you with me.
310
00:14:06,377 --> 00:14:09,313
All of you.
311
00:14:09,314 --> 00:14:10,915
You're having
good luck.
312
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,917
Nothing can happen
to you,
313
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,752
So we'll all fly
to new york together.
314
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,219
We'll pay.
315
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,621
Oh, al!
316
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:19,557
We're going to new york.
317
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,158
Free!
318
00:14:21,159 --> 00:14:22,426
Well, I guess
319
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,627
If it'll make you
feel safer,
320
00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:25,262
We can afford
four coach tickets.
321
00:14:25,263 --> 00:14:28,632
Excuse me, here,
steve.
322
00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:31,134
Bundys don't fly coach.
323
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:38,408
No, we fly first class,
or we don't fly.
324
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:40,644
Done.
325
00:14:40,645 --> 00:14:42,245
First class!
326
00:14:42,246 --> 00:14:43,714
I thought
I'd have to wait
327
00:14:43,715 --> 00:14:47,284
For my second husband
to fly first class.
328
00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:55,626
[sighs]
329
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:56,627
Miss rhoades.
330
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:58,228
Yes, mr. Vandergelder.
331
00:14:58,229 --> 00:15:00,097
Once we're in the air,
I'll want coffee.
332
00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:01,832
They have flight attendants
for that.
333
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:04,969
I like it
when you get me coffee...
334
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,070
Yes, mr. Vandergelder.
335
00:15:07,071 --> 00:15:09,306
And, miss rhoades,
336
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:12,142
I just finished reading
my speech that you wrote.
337
00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:13,511
I don't like it.
338
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:14,745
Would you please redo it
339
00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:16,814
And make more references to me
340
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:20,217
And to my tremendous commitment
to the women's movement.
341
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,388
Yes, mr. Vandergelder.
342
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,091
God, I hate him.
343
00:15:28,092 --> 00:15:29,092
I'd like to punch him
344
00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:31,461
Right in the middle
of his fat face.
345
00:15:31,462 --> 00:15:33,063
Miss rhoades.
346
00:15:33,064 --> 00:15:34,064
Yes, sir?
347
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,365
Once we're in new york,
348
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:38,502
Would you pick up a little gift
for my wife?
349
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,638
Yes, perhaps a picture
350
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:43,140
Of you and your...
Old army buddy.
351
00:15:44,976 --> 00:15:46,577
How you doing
over there, fluffy?
352
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,913
How am I doing what?
353
00:15:51,149 --> 00:15:54,852
♪ start spreading
the news ♪
354
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:56,554
Now, what do you
think, peg?
355
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,355
Could we live
in that vip lounge
356
00:15:58,356 --> 00:15:59,356
Or what?
357
00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:00,558
Well, probably not.
358
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:01,559
They threw us out
359
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,695
After you overflowed
the toilet.
360
00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:06,430
Aw, peg,
you gotta see this.
361
00:16:06,431 --> 00:16:08,298
Look at those poor slobs
back in coach,
362
00:16:08,299 --> 00:16:10,267
Sitting like cattle.
363
00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:11,268
Moo!
364
00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:12,636
Oh...
365
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,638
Al, that's not nice.
366
00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:19,109
Boy, the seats are big
up here in first class!
367
00:16:21,145 --> 00:16:23,180
Hey, marce.
368
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:24,748
Hey, check out
the old guy
369
00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:25,916
Sitting next
to his granddaughter
370
00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,317
Over there.
371
00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:28,986
[inaudible]
372
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,087
Aw, peg, come on.
373
00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:31,421
She's probably just
374
00:16:31,422 --> 00:16:33,724
His personal
flotation device.
375
00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:38,829
Ah...Mmm.
376
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,863
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
377
00:16:39,864 --> 00:16:41,999
Excuse me, sir.
378
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,801
Please buckle
your seat belt.
379
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:47,270
Excuse me.
380
00:16:47,271 --> 00:16:49,106
Is the pilot
any good?
381
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:51,041
Oh, he's fantastic.
382
00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:55,378
His hands are gentle
but, oh, so rough.
383
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,384
I meant,
can he fly the plane?
384
00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:03,954
How would I know?
385
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:07,091
Captain:
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
386
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,426
This is your captain,
john canyon.
387
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,633
That's it?
388
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,668
No "have a pleasant flight?"
389
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,169
No "we won't crash?"
390
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,438
No "marcie rhoades
is not going to die"?
391
00:17:21,439 --> 00:17:25,042
Marce, you're
a little loud over there.
392
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,644
Now, listen,
you're flying first class.
393
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:27,845
Let's act like
you've done this
394
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:28,979
A couple of times
before.
395
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,048
Hey, waitress!
396
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:32,916
Sir, we have
397
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:34,918
Some complimentary
in-flight slippers.
398
00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:37,154
If you'd care to take
off your shoes and relax.
399
00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:38,555
[laughing]
400
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:50,034
Mmm.
401
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:51,434
Hey, stewardess.
402
00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:53,070
Another round
for everybody.
403
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:56,306
I mean, it's free
up here, isn't it?
404
00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:01,278
Mmm.
405
00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:08,152
Ah. Feeling better,
honey?
406
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,553
Fine, fine.
407
00:18:09,554 --> 00:18:12,022
Not dead or anything.
408
00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:13,824
I told you
that gypsy fortune teller
409
00:18:13,825 --> 00:18:16,160
Was just a bunch
of hooey.
410
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,594
This is your captain speaking.
411
00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,229
We're starting
our initial descent over--
412
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,932
Whoa! Frank,
turn off the intercom.
413
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,333
We're going down.
414
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:24,534
What are we going to do?
415
00:18:24,535 --> 00:18:25,736
You know I stink at landings.
416
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,037
You took the test for me.
417
00:18:27,038 --> 00:18:29,039
Give me some gin
and turn the intercom back on.
418
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,042
I'll just lie
to the passengers.
419
00:18:32,043 --> 00:18:34,912
We're encountering
a little mild turbulence.
420
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,379
So for your safety,
421
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:38,082
Fasten seat belts, extinguish
all cigarettes and--
422
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,784
Ah, what the hell,
light up.
423
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:45,622
Peggy, this is it!
424
00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:46,890
We're going down!
425
00:18:50,361 --> 00:18:55,532
♪ hey, hey, paula
I wanna marry you ♪
426
00:18:55,533 --> 00:19:01,038
♪ hey, hey, paul
I wanna marry you too ♪
427
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,740
Steve,
428
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,608
I just want you
to know
429
00:19:04,609 --> 00:19:06,143
I love you.
430
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,578
And if only one of us
has to go,
431
00:19:08,579 --> 00:19:10,413
I hope it's me.
432
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,017
Don't you feel
the same way?
433
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:20,423
If that's what you want,
I hope it's you too.
434
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,694
Miss rhoades...
435
00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:26,864
This speech
is still unacceptable.
436
00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,799
Do it over before we land.
437
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:32,002
Can you believe
this guy?
438
00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:34,404
Miss rhoades,
get me a pillow.
439
00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:36,173
I'm going to die
in a blazing furnace,
440
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:38,508
And he wants a pillow.
441
00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:41,444
You fat pig!
442
00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:47,117
I work my fingers
to the bone for you.
443
00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:48,351
I'm a bank manager,
damn it,
444
00:19:48,352 --> 00:19:49,653
Not your handmaiden,
445
00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:50,988
But do you
appreciate me?
446
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:52,055
No!
447
00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:53,056
It's always,
"get me coffee.
448
00:19:53,057 --> 00:19:54,224
"write my speech.
449
00:19:54,225 --> 00:19:55,225
"here comes my wife.
450
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:56,726
Pretend fluffy's
with you."
451
00:19:56,727 --> 00:19:57,995
Well, I'm sick of it,
452
00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:59,729
And I'm sick of you,
vanderdoody!
453
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,865
I've done a lot
of low things for you,
454
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:03,066
But when I meet
my maker
455
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:04,268
In a few minutes,
456
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,103
And he asks if I've
done anything good,
457
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:08,005
I'll say,
"yes. I did this."
458
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:09,472
Ooh!
459
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,651
I'm ready to die.
460
00:20:21,652 --> 00:20:24,121
Captain:
Well, we seemed to pull out
of that one.
461
00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,455
I'm happy to say
462
00:20:25,456 --> 00:20:27,390
We're on our final approach
to jfk,
463
00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:29,059
And we'll be landing
in 10 minutes.
464
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:31,461
I hope you enjoyed your trip.
465
00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:33,030
We're gonna live!
466
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:34,965
We can't!
467
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:36,733
You said
we were gonna crash!
468
00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:38,035
Now you say
we're not!
469
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,570
What kind
of a pilot are you?
470
00:20:40,571 --> 00:20:43,273
Steve, I'm never flying
this airline again.
471
00:20:43,274 --> 00:20:45,108
[groans]
472
00:20:45,109 --> 00:20:47,344
Oh, steve...
473
00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:49,379
What have I done?
474
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:51,081
I'm ruined.
475
00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:52,749
This is what
the gypsy meant:
476
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:56,186
Disaster,
the end of my career.
477
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,457
When he regains
consciousness,
478
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:02,425
I know his first words
will be,
479
00:21:02,426 --> 00:21:05,028
"you're fired."
480
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:09,299
I wouldn't worry
about it.
481
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,600
Play your cards right,
482
00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:11,969
You might even get
a promotion.
483
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:15,205
I split his lip
like a bunny, steve.
484
00:21:15,206 --> 00:21:16,606
Yes,
485
00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:18,141
But you know something
about mr. Vandergelder
486
00:21:18,142 --> 00:21:19,910
That mrs. Vandergelder
doesn't.
487
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,111
What's that?
488
00:21:21,112 --> 00:21:22,479
The fluffster.
489
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:33,590
♪ I got you
to hold my hand ♪
490
00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:37,227
♪ I got you
to understand ♪
491
00:21:37,228 --> 00:21:40,663
♪i got you
na, na, na, na, na ♪
492
00:21:40,664 --> 00:21:44,434
♪ I got you
na, na, na, na, na ♪
493
00:21:44,435 --> 00:21:46,303
[both humming off-key]
494
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:52,276
Both:
♪ I got you, babe ♪
495
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:55,312
♪ babe ♪
496
00:21:55,313 --> 00:22:01,418
♪ I got you, babe ♪
497
00:22:14,432 --> 00:22:16,433
[♪]